All lyrics are copyrighted by Susannah M. Rolfes, except parts of "Goodnight, Sweet Prince," from 'Hamlet' by William Shakespeare; "J. Alfred Prufrock," from, 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,' by T. S. Eliot; "Rats' Alley," from 'The Waste Land' by T. S. Eliot; "I Never Saw A Moor," by Emily Dickinson; and, "Who Has Seen The Wind," by Christina Rossetti (which are in the public domain).
Please check back, because I have written several dozen more songs with lyrics that are not yet online.
You've always seen me
Centerstage.
Wearing a mask,
Playing the part.
I've worn
So many masks,
At times I forget
My true face.
But now,
I cast it all
Aside,
Now,
You can see what's inside.
Welcome to backstage,
Where I can be me.
Welcome to backstage,
Here where all the
Secret fears,
The joys, the tears
Come falling out,
They come falling out.
Welcome to backstage.
Here, behind the curtains
And the sets,
They look so real
To you,
Where you sit.
Welcome to backstage,
Where I remove my mask.
Welcome to backstage,
You'll meet me at last.
No one should be above the law;
Least of all, an international law.
An old-fashioned land war
Belongs to yesterday;
Not to now.
When I was just a little girl, I thought
That my country could do no wrong.
But now I know, since I've grown
That we all make mistakes,
And that's the best we can do,
And that's the best we can hope for.
The atom bomb,
Jim Crow laws,
Is that the best we could do?
We fought a civil war,
Then a hundred years
Before Civil Rights
Was even law,
Is that the best we could do?
Segregation, immigration,
Hope for our next generation,
Is that the best we can do?
They ask, "Why don't you leave?"
Think that's easy? Ask a refugee!
I'll stay and hope,
Pray and hope
We'll do the best we can do.
Today I hope,
I pray and hope,
For my country, too.
America, I believe in you.
I still believe
It can one day be true.
America, the beautiful,
Home of the brave and free,
I hope one day,
You really will
Be the best country.
I want to stand on the moral high ground.
I want us to stand on the moral high ground,
Lifting our lamp beside the golden door.
Are we all created equal,
If we're not treated equal?
Then we still have a place to strive.
America, I believe in you.
I still believe
It can one day be true,
If we do the best we can do. 2022
Disappear, like you want me to,
Disappear, like I always do.
Disappear, from being with you,
Disappear, like I always do.
Disappear, I know the way.
Disappear, I've seen this play.
Disappear, and fade away.
Fly away,
Some other day.
There's another way,
Without you.
You have a way of making the impossible mundane.
You have a way of making the sacred profane.
You have a way of making the logical insane.
Oh, you have a way.
Oh, you have a way.
Disappear from beneath the skies,
Disappear while my spirit dies.
Disappear, like I always do,
Disappear, like you want me to.
Disappear, hide myself away.
Disappear, though I want to stay.
Disappear, this catastrophe
Disappear, will not let me be.
Don't go,
Don't stay this way.
Don't tell me that
The talk we had
The day before
Yesterday
Was the last talk
When you knew my name.
Please, Mom, don't go.
Tell me that you know what year it is.
Tell me, can't you name our president?
Tell me that you still know who I am.
Please, Mom, don't go.
Don't go,
Don't stay this way.
Don't tell me
That the talk we had
The day before
Yesterday
Was our last talk
When you knew my name.
Please, Mom, don't go.
Tell me, don't you know what I just said?
Tell me, can't you tell me where you are?
Tell me you remember who I am.
Please, Mom, don't go.
Don't go,
Don't stay this way.
Don't tell me that
The talk we had
The day before
Yesterday
Was the last talk
When you knew my name.
Please, Mom, don't go.
Don't go,
Don't stay this way.
Don't tell me that
The talk we had
The day before
Yesterday
Was our last talk
When you knew my name.
Oh, please, Mom, don't go.
Please, Mom, don't go. 2018
You're my elevator.
I was so alone.
Then you came to me,
And you lifted me up here.
I was so depressed,
I wished I would just die.
Then, you lifted me,
Raised my dead spirit.
Now, I am happy.
You came just in time,
And, oh, you changed my mind,
About my worthless life.
You're my elevator.
I had hit the bottom.
I don't want to die anymore.
Then, you came to me,
You came just in time.
Now, I am happy.
You came just in time,
And, oh, you changed my mind.
You're my elevator.
Elevator, love.
You have lifted me up here.
And, oh, how I thank you.
You're my elevator.
Elevator, love. 1997
From the start,
You were my friend.
And I thought
That it would never end.
But now,
You are not there,
And I think
It just isn't fair.
And I ask why,
Why are you gone?
And now, there's an empty place in my heart,
An empty place in my heart.
I recall all the
Piano recitals in which we played,
And I recall
The Fine Arts Academic Team Meets,
And I recall
You playing in your band,
The song you wrote.
And now, there's an empty place in my heart,
An empty place in my heart.
For I thought from the start,
That I would be there for you,
If you needed me,
And I thought from the start,
You'd be there for me, too,
But things have changed.
I had a friend,
His name was Chris.
I thought he'd be
My friend forever.
I had a friend,
His name was Chris.
He's gone from you,
He's gone from me,
Forever.
I recall the day in which you died,
I didn't know.
And I recall...you.
And I recall sitting down to cry.
I felt an empty place in my heart
That never went away. 1994. For Chris (1978-1994).
Well, you know,
I'm going
Over there,
Where the grass
Is always green,
And not brown,
Like here.
Well, you know,
I'm going
Home.
Well, you know,
I'm going
Over there,
Where the trees
Fill the sky,
Not empty,
Like here.
Well, you know,
I'm going
Home.
Na na na,
Na na na na
Na na na,
Na na na na,
Going home.
Well, you know,
I'm going
Over there,
Where there are hills
And streams,
Not flat plains,
Like here.
Well, you know,
I'm going
Home.
Na na na,
Na na na na
Na na na,
Na na na na,
Going home.
2020
I don't know why;
I'm looking forward to Hanukkah.
I don't know why;
I'm not even Jewish.
How is this night
Different from all other nights?
I don't know,
But I want to learn it.
Is this a myst'ry
Planted in my dreams
From a branch of my family tree
I've never seen?
Ancestors wand'ring
Across the Sinai,
Searching for the land
They'd call their own.
I don't know why;
I'm looking forward to Hanukkah.
I don't know why;
I'm not even Jewish.
The candle's bright
On the menorah tonight.
Elijah's cup
Runneth over.
Is this a myst'ry
Planted in my dreams
From a branch of my family tree
I've never seen?
Ancestors wand'ring
Across the Sinai,
Searching for the land
They'd call their own.
I don't know why....
I don't know why;
I'm looking forward to Hanukkah,
Looking forward to Hanukkah,
Looking forward to Hanukkah. 2020
Will this time soon end,
Or did it just begin?
The hiatus of love,
What has happened to... "Us?"
I wonder,
Will e'er again?
Will there ever again
Be an, "Us?"
We've been friends so long,
Now what has gone wrong?
How could so many
In-depth talks
Lead to a
Wall of silence?
I truly hope
With all my heart
That we'll soon
Talk again,
Because it really isn't
Worth a relationship,
If I lose my oldest friend.
If I lose...
If I lose you. 1997. For M.
You and me are like
The honeysuckle tree.
It couldn't be,
And yet, there it is.
Standing tall,
Fully bloomed in the meadow.
Improbability pervades our lives.
You're my four-leaf clover,
My needle in a haystack,
You are my white elephant.
Don't make it a tragedy,
Don't make it a tragedy.
Before you, I never experienced concinnity.
Don't make it a tragedy.
I am the selkie in your northern sea,
And the deer in your meadow.
I'm the one you spent your whole life
Looking for.
I am waiting for you.
I'm your four leaf clover,
Your needle in a haystack,
I am your white elephant.
Don't make it a tragedy,
Don't make it a tragedy.
Before you, I never experienced concinnity.
Don't make it a tragedy.
You and me are like
The honeysuckle tree.
It couldn't be,
And yet, there it is.
Standing tall,
Fully bloomed in the meadow.
Improbability....
Improbability....
Don't make it a tragedy. 2004
How great it is,
How great it is,
To know that
You love me.
And now, I ask,
How can it be,
That after all
These years,
After all these years....
I often wondered
In days of youth
If you, too,
Liked me.
And now,
After all these years,
I finally see
That you loved me,
That you love me.
How great it is,
To know at last,
And now I finally see,
That you loved me,
That you love me.
And now,
After all these years,
I finally see,
I know as you embrace me,
I feel it when you hold my hand,
I see that you loved me,
That you love me,
That you love me,
That you love me. 1997. For M.
She grew milkweed for the monarchs
In her garden near the lake.
When they said it was unsightly,
She said, "Friends, make no mistake."
And she said,
"How many days do they have?
Tell me, how many days,
When we destroy their home
More every hour,
Tell me, how many days?"
And the scan lit up
Like butterfly wings,
With white dots all around the sides,
Like a monarch in flight.
"How many days do I have?
Tell me, how many days
Until I fly away,
Like the monarchs in my garden?
Tell me, how many days?"
And her breathing fluttered,
As the metamorphosis in her lungs
Stole her life away.
"How many days do I have?
Tell me, how many days
It's all I want to know.
How many days?"
And the jeweled butterfly
In the jewelry box
Sat alone to await the day.
And she pinned it to my jacket,
But when I got home, it had gone.
And I knew it meant
That she'd be gone, too,
Like a butterfly migrates.
"How many days do I have?
Tell me, how many days
Until I fly away,
Like the monarchs in my garden?
Tell me, how many days?"
They told her six months when it was one,
A week when it was a day,
A few days when it was an hour,
And scant hours when it was moments.
While her son was driving
From half way across the country,
Azariah up and died,
And the monarchs took flight.
"How many days do I have?
Tell me, how many days
It's all I want to know."
"How many days do I have?
Tell me, how many days
Until I fly away,
Like the monarchs in my garden?
Tell me, how many days?
How many days?" 2020. For Azariah (1949 - 2008).
If nothing else good can be said of me, they'll say
I was loyal to a fault.
If nothing else good can be said of me, they'll say
I forgave too much.
If nothing else good can be said of me, they'll say
I created a beautiful world
Inside my head,
If nothing else,
If nothing else.
If nothing else,
If nothing else.
If nothing else good can be said of me, they'll say
I was unique.
If nothing else good can be said of me, they'll say
I had a mystique.
If nothing else good can be said of me, they'll say
I was too clever by half,
Half the time.
If nothing else,
If nothing else.
If nothing else,
If nothing else.
And when they gather 'round to say goodbye,
I wonder if anyone will cry.
I hope it's understood:
I wouldn't have been normal if I could.
If nothing else good can be said of me, they'll say
I had good intents.
If nothing else good can be said of me, they'll say
I had no pretense.
If nothing else good can be said of me, they'll say
I was never afraid of the truth,
For good or ill.
If nothing else,
If nothing else.
If nothing else,
If nothing else. 2009
J. Alfred Prufrock,
In the middle of his life,
Dreamt of his mother,
How he missed her,
And every word she said.
J. Alfred Prufrock
Was a stoic,
Didn't let himself
Feel the things
Around him,
So he missed them,
And everything they meant.
It's not the love song you expect, no,
But it's a love song that will last forever.
It's not the love song you expect
From J. Alfred Prufrock,
From J. Alfred Prufrock.
She said, "Let us go then, you and me,
I'll tell you about Innisfree,
And of Michelangelo,
And all the places we can't go.
"The future is our fairytale,
An ocean on which we can sail.
And in the chambers of the sea,
The mermaids sing to you and me.
"We'll wear the legs of trousers rolled
And wait for stories to unfold.
We'll watch the crabs with ragged claws,
As we walk along the causeway."
She said, "Memento Mori,
See all the things that you can see.
While there's time."
"That is not what I meant at all.
That is not what I meant at all."
J. Alfred Prufrock
Sat at the piano,
And the words, they just came to him,
As fast as he could write them,
He was finally understanding;
He was dreaming of his mother.
2022.
Thank you, thank you for loving me.
Thank you, thank you for caring.
I wish this wasn't ending,
But it takes more than one of us,
One of us.
You say we had all the right feelings,
But they came from the wrong people.
I wish you'd see it my way,
But it takes more than one of us,
One of us,
To make a relationship.
You say you cannot save me.
I say, "Save me from what?"
You say, "From this depression."
I say, "Of course; you're not God."
You say all you can do is just thank me
For liking you, and hope someday
I like myself just as much as I liked you.
Thank you, thank you for loving me.
Thank you, thank you for caring.
I wish this wasn't ending,
But it takes more than one of us,
One of us.
I wish this wasn't ending,
But it takes more than one of us,
One of us,
One of us. 1998
I don't understand why it happened.
Not long ago, we were so happy.
Now, there are needles, and wires,
IV drips, and radiation.
This should be the summer of our love.
Drove by the beach
Where we used to swim,
Drove by your house,
But you're not in.
This should be the summer of your life.
Remember when we laughed 'til we cried?
I wonder if it was a dream.
There's just one thing you need to know.
My love for you will still be strong,
After your poisoned summer has gone,
Whether you're here with me or not.
My love for you will still be strong,
After our poisoned summer has gone;
I will be with you 'til the end.
They told me, don't look back.
Those days are gone, let them go.
Yet I still dream of growing old with you.
I thought I knew what love was then.
What did I know?
Love is being here with you,
Knowing our time could soon be through,
There's just one thing that you should know.
My love for you will still be strong,
After your poisoned summer has gone,
Whether you're here with me or not.
My love for you will still be strong,
After our poisoned summer has gone.
I will be with you 'til the end. 2021.
Do you know anything?
Do you see anything?
Do you remember nothing at all?
Do you think anything?
Do you feel anything?
Do you dream of nothing at all?
I think I'm in Rats' Alley,
Where the dead men lost their bones,
I'm in Rats' Alley,
With a past I can't condone,
We're in Rats' Alley.
The corpse you planted here last year,
Has it begun to sprout?
Will it bloom this year?
Beware the dog,
That friend of men,
Or with his nails,
He'll dig it up again,
Or will he?
I think I'm in Rats' Alley,
Where the dead men lost their bones,
I'm in Rats' Alley,
With a past I can't condone,
We're in Rats' Alley.
My nerves are bad tonight,
Yes bad.
Stay with me
And speak to me.
What are you thinking of?
I never know what you are thinking of.
Thinking.
I think I'm in Rats' Alley,
Where the dead men lost their bones,
I'm in Rats' Alley,
With a past I can't condone,
We're in Rats' Alley.
It's only the wind.
It's only the wind under the door.
I think I'm in Rats' Alley,
Where the dead men lost their bones,
I'm in Rats' Alley,
With a past I can't condone,
We're in Rats' Alley.
We're in Rats' Alley.
I remember when these
Old jeans were new.
First time I wore them,
I went to see you.
You were to me
All the world and more.
Now, I put on these
Stained, tattered, faded, torn
Jeans,
I think of us:
Stained, tattered, faded, torn.
All that is left are a
Pocketful of memories,
And wondering,
Should I say hello
To a stranger I once loved? 1999. For J.
Here I go through silent struggles, knowing
That I suffer all alonely.
I heard you say you would love me forever,
But now you've left me on my own.
I loved you truly,
But you did leave me,
And now I see you
Holding her hand,
Holding her hand.
You said you'd be there
Until forever,
But now I see you
Holding her hand,
Holding her hand.
It's not that I thought
We would be ever again
That which we once were,
But now I don't have the satisfaction
That you still don't have another love.
I've been replaced.
I've been erased.
Have you forgot?
I have not.
I loved you, I loved you.
I loved you truly,
But you did leave me,
And now I see you
Holding her hand,
Holding her hand.
You said you'd be there
Until forever,
But now I see you
Holding her hand,
Holding her hand.
Here I go through silent struggles, knowing
That my love has come to an end.
As I go through all my sorrow, I know
One day my pain will also end,
I'll start again, I'll start again.
But for now,
All I can see
Is what's
Right before my eyes.
I loved you truly,
But you did leave me,
And now I see you
Holding her hand,
Holding her hand.
You said you'd be there for me
Until forever,
But now I see you
Holding her hand,
Holding her hand,
You're holding her hand,
Holding her hand,
Have you forgotten all about me?
Yes, you have. 1997. For J.
For 36 days,
Your voice was far from me.
Not a word,
Not so much as a hello.
But now you want
To talk again.
Can't you see?
It's just not that
Easy for me.
After 36 days,
I'm still afraid.
For 84 days,
I thought that
You loved me.
I spent each day
In the company of you.
Then you said that
You loved me no longer.
I sat there, I heard.
I threw my arms around you,
But you said, "No, I can't.
I just don't feel comfortable
Anymore."
Was that the end?
What happened to my friend?
And then you said,
You wanted still
To be friends.
And I did try,
I wanted that, too,
But I soon found
That it's just far too hard.
For 36 days,
Your voice was far from me.
Not a word,
Not so much as a hello.
But now you want
To talk again.
Can't you see?
It's just not that
Easy for me.
After 36 days, 36 days
After 36 days,
I'm still afraid. 1996. For J.
Our mother and father are gone,
And only we remain.
The people there when I was born
Are gone, all.
I remember Pa-pa's big hands,
And the songs my mother sang.
Grandma's sayings and Dad's jokes
Are gone, all.
And in this darkest time,
These moments that last for years,
I'm standing there beside you,
All through the night.
The tears streamed down our faces,
As we held onto her hands.
We knew she was already gone,
But we couldn't let go;
We loved her so.
And in that darkest hour,
When I couldn't stop my tears,
You're standing there beside me,
All through this night.
Life has thrown us tempests,
No port in a storm.
In the forest primordial,
When flood waters rage,
I'm standing here beside you,
You're standing there beside me,
We're standing there together,
All through the night. 2021 For my sister, and our late mother (1946-2020).
All my friends have moved to far-off places,
To Germany, to Italy, and California.
But I'm tied to the beauty of my valley,
I am tied to the beauty of these Indiana hills,
I am tied to the mem'ries of my fam'ly,
I am tied to my Indiana home.
They all said they couldn't wait to leave it,
Couldn't wait until graduation.
I always hoped they'd stay,
That they wouldn't go away,
'Cause I knew this would always be my home.
I am tied to the beauty of my valley,
I am tied to the beauty of these Indiana hills,
I am tied to the mem'ries of my fam'ly,
I am tied to my Indiana home.
And ev'ry time that I drove home from college,
In awe of the beauty of these Indiana hills,
I could hardly wait
Until I could graduate;
Nowhere else on earth could feel like home.
'Cause I'm tied to the beauty of my valley,
I am tied to the beauty of these Indiana hills,
I am tied to the mem'ries of my fam'ly,
I am tied to my Indiana home.
Friends are moving here from far-off places:
Chicago, New York City, and San Francisco.
More come day by day,
'Cause they couldn't stay away,
We are tied to our Indiana home.
We are tied to the beauty of this valley,
We are tied to the beauty of these Indiana hills,
We are tied to the mem'ries of our fam'lies,
We are tied to our Indiana home.
We are tied to our Indiana home.
We are tied to our Indiana home. 2005
I fear that you don't understand me,
I fear that you don't understand me,
I fear that you don't understand me.
You, I will not reprimand,
Just because you don't understand.
I fear that you don't understand me,
I fear that you don't understand me,
I fear that you don't understand me.
Or have I spoke too soon?
I fear I can be read like a book
And if you are not my friend,
I fear you'll use that against me.
I fear that you might understand me,
I fear that you might understand me,
I fear that you might understand me.
Or have I spoke too soon?
For understanding is the key
For us to end all these wars,
The key to unity.
I fear that you don't understand me,
I fear that you might understand me,
I fear that you don't understand me,
I fear that you might understand me,
I fear that you don't understand me,
I fear that you don't understand.
I know how you feel,
'Cause I'm feelin' it, too.
You're so alone,
All you want is
All that you can't have.
All you want is
All I want, is
Someone there,
Just to talk,
And to hold your hand,
And you could rest your head
On their shoulder.
Why can't I just have that?
When I come here....
When I come here....
I will always think of you
when I come into this place.
Memories will flood my mind,
I will see once more your face.
When I come here,
When I come here.
When I come, when I come here.
When I come, when I come.
When I come, when I come here.
When I come, when I come.
I will always think of you
When I come into this place.
Memories will flood my mind,
I will see once more your face.
When I come here,
When I come here. 1996. For Emily and J.
It's a cold winter's day outside,
It's the first one of the year.
It's a cold winter's day in my heart now,
Because you are not here.
I loved you, I loved you,
And I thought that you loved me.
I loved you, I loved you,
But now, it's history.
Now, I see you in the distance, and I...
I feel very paranoid,
But I'm not angry, and I'm not hateful,
I just don't know how to...be...anymore.
I loved you, I loved you,
And I thought that you loved me.
I loved you, I loved you,
But now, it's history.
Head in my hands,
Crying again.
Joy has gone,
Will never come again.
Head in my hands,
Tears won't stream down,
If my eyes won't let them
All come down.
It's a cold winter's day.
Never knew that I could feel this way,
But now, you've left me on my own.
Now that you have gone away,
I see I loved you, I loved you,
And I thought that you loved me.
I loved you, I loved you,
But now, it's history.
Head in my hands,
Crying again.
Joy has gone,
Will never come again.
Head in my hands,
Tears won't stream down,
If my eyes won't let them
All come down. 1996. For J.
Words cannot describe what I'm feeling.
I lost my best friend today.
Careless driver going down a byway,
Dusty gravel road where you walked each day,
Lovely autumn afternoon,
On your final day.
Without you,
Without you,
I feel...
I feel...
I feel so lonely.
My best friend all my life.
I recall the day that I met you.
Surely we would be together always.
Time, forever our enemy
Drove us apart far too soon.
Without you,
Without you,
I feel...
I feel...
I feel so empty.
My best friend all my life.
Gone tonight. 1998
Wonderous star in the sky above,
Wonderous star tonight,
Wise men and shepherds are gath'ring beneath,
Following yonder star.
Wond'rous star in the sky tonight,
Wond'rous star above,
Lend thy light on this
Coldest night,
Wond'rous star above.
Wond'rous star in the sky tonight,
Wond'rous star above,
Wond'rous star in the sky tonight,
Wond'rous gift of love.
Guide my feet on this darkest night,
Be my lamp to my mind.
In this hard-hearted world below,
Show us how to be kind.
Wond'rous star in the sky tonight,
Wond'rous star above.
Wond'rous star in the sky tonight,
Wond'rous gift of love.
Wonderous star that shines in the sky,
Wonderous star tonight,
One day, all nations will gather in peace,
Following yonder star.
Wonderous star,
Wandering star,
Wond'rous star above.
Soon, all the nations will gather in peace,
Following yonder star.
Wond'rous star in the sky tonight,
(Star, wonderous star, bright tonight.)
Wond'rous star of love,
(Star, wonderous star, so bright tonight.)
Wond'rous star in the sky tonight,
(Star, wonderous star.)
Wond'rous gift from above.
(Wonderous star, wonderous star, so bright tonight.)
Soon, all the nations will gather in peace,
Following yonder star,
Following yonder star,
Following yonder star. 2017
You meant the world to me, my love.
You meant the earth, the sea, and all that lies above.
You meant the world to me, my love,
And I would follow after you
In all I'd do.
When I walked into the room,
And saw you there with him,
I knew what you had done,
Betraying me again.
I offered you my hand,
You trembled as you took it,
And you knew that I would love you,
No matter what you may have done.
You meant the world to me, my love.
You meant the earth, the sea, and all that lies above.
You meant the world to me, my love,
And I would follow after you
In all I'd do.
You meant the world to me,
The earth, the sky, and the sea.
Broken glass beneath my feet,
Scattered ashes of the life that we had planned.
Now I walk this world alone,
Until I find myself upon a new land. 2003
